Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Seven Stones

The first stone is the weight of my envy
Unspeakable and hidden, like my crooked smile in old photos
Where I wanted to be the prettier child
It is hard to let go of things you know you will never have

The second stone slides off my hand reluctantly,
Sloth tumbling down the slope of my fingers like a child getting off a swing
Selfish and pouting, the memory of
Late mornings in bed, the third cup of tea
Looking up memories to pass the time

The third stone is the largest, spotted like
Greed at a sale when the unbeautiful pretend they can afford
Anything and you rush for that dress that you saw on the girl with your
Best friend’s boyfriend’s ex-classmate
And buy the dress in three different colours,
Including the one you know you will never wear and console yourself with
A matching handbag for the pain

The fourth stone burns my palm
Lust can come quietly, as you watch a movie about someone else’s life and wonder
If it is a cliché to ask if that could happen to you
I throw it like a heartache, it clings to my fingers like a kiss
Asking for forgiveness before I let it fly

The fifth stone sparkles to catch my neighbour’s eye
Pride has no place in prayer, but everyone still worships at the
Shrine of “Keeping Up With The Neighbours” and there is no more fact
Or fiction only the lines between being proud and being honest
And the division depends on if you think I am trying to be better than you

The sixth stone is heavy like the
Gluttony that is a national treasure
How else do we shore up the economy?
All you can eat buffets and nothing to do but eat and then look in the mirror,
I tried to stop you from eating dinner for two by yourself but
Mia sees gluttony in the mirror since they are both empty, and never satisfied

The seventh stone shatters on the pillar
Wrath, for all the times my heart held nothing but blood and fire
And bitter words I spoke to too many people
I hope you’ve forgiven me, maybe youth is anger because we resist the fact that
We have to wait ten years for power and by then it will be too late for us
Because we will not remember why we wanted it
This stone, at least, in its shattering will change

My hands are empty, there are no more stones.

My heart is water
In the pool of my body
I have nothing left to say that God does not already know
He who hears my prayers before my crooked lips shape the words,
Holds my heart, mute and blinded
By everyday sin and daily indignity
I know now that my soul is for Him, and that the rest of me will follow
Flesh to bone to cracked soil and air
And maybe there will be seven stones, after the dust of my feet has settled,
Holding the memory of my hands and my penitence.

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